Miss
Barrett wrote her third letter to Mr. Browning on February 3, 1845. She is
still formal but very friendly, showing her eagerness to continue their
correspondence in the face of his complaints about writing letters. She lived
by letters, refusing to receive her correspondents as visitors but insisting on
more letters. A sort of enforced impersonalization that is perhaps even more common today with the anonymous
chat rooms of the internet. She could present the best of herself in a letter
without having to worry about what Browning, or anyone else, thought about what
she looked like. Miss Barrett was very self conscious about her looks. In the
letter she wrote to her brother George when she eloped in September 1846 she
explained that she thought that Browning would give her up eventually after
studying her “ghastly face” long enough. This was not simple modesty, this was
a truth stated in a very serious letter. But, obviously Browning saw beyond her
“ghastly” appearance. He saw more in her than she saw in herself. This was his
gift to her.
But
here is the Miss Barrett at the beginning of their lives together presenting
herself as she wants the world, and especially Browning, to see:
"For my part, I wonder sometimes—I surprise myself
wondering—how without such an object and purpose of life, people find it worth
while to live at all. And, for happiness—why, my only idea of happiness, as far
as my personal enjoyment is concerned, (but I have been straightened in some
respects and in comparison with the majority of livers!) lies deep in poetry
and its associations. And then, the escape from pangs of heart and bodily
weakness—when you throw off yourself—what you feel to be yourself—into
another atmosphere and into other relations where your life may spread its
wings out new, and gather on every separate plume a brightness from the sun of
the sun!"
Today’s
letter is full of wonderful images and pleadings built to capture the
imagination of the hero Browning:
“As for me, I have done most of my talking by post of
late years—as people shut up in dungeons take up with scrawling mottoes on the
walls.”
“And if you will only promise to treat me en bon
camarade, without reference to the conventionalities of 'ladies and
gentlemen,' taking no thought for your sentences (nor for mine), nor for your
blots (nor for mine), nor for your blunt speaking (nor for mine), nor for your
badd speling (nor for mine), and if you agree to send me a blotted thought
whenever you are in the mind for it, and with as little ceremony and less
legibility than you would think it necessary to employ towards your
printer—why, then, I am ready to sign and seal the contract, and to
rejoice in being 'articled' as your correspondent. Only don't let us
have any constraint, any ceremony! Don't be civil to me when you feel
rude,—nor loquacious when you incline to silence,—nor yielding in the manners
when you are perverse in the mind.”
“You will find me an honest man on the whole, if rather
hasty and prejudging, which is a different thing from prejudice at the worst.
And we have great sympathies in common, and I am inclined to look up to you in
many things, and to learn as much of everything as you will teach me. On the
other hand you must prepare yourself to forbear and to forgive—will you? While
I throw off the ceremony, I hold the faster to the kindness.”
Who, in their right mind, wouldn’t want to correspond
with such a charming lady?
She works on his ego with gusto:
“…your greatest works are to come. Need I assure you that
I shall always hear with the deepest interest every word you will say to me of
what you are doing or about to do?”
“Then you spoke of your 'gentle audience' (you began),
and I, who know that you have not one but many enthusiastic admirers—the 'fit
and few' in the intense meaning—yet not the diffused fame which will
come to you presently, wrote on, down the margin of the subject, till I parted
from it altogether.”
“Yet I believe that, whatever you may have done, you will
do what is greater. It is my faith for you.”
As ever, she throws in her self-deprecating humor to end
the letter:
“But this is too much indeed, past all bearing, I
suspect. Well, but if I ever write to you again—I mean, if you wish it—it may
be in the other extreme of shortness. So do not take me for a born heroine of
Richardson, or think that I sin always to this length, else,—you might indeed
repent your quotation from Juliet—which I guessed at once—and of course—
I have no joy in this contract to-day!
It is too unadvised, too rash and sudden.”
It is too unadvised, too rash and sudden.”
Not sure of herself in the eyes of others. I understand that. It comes over me sometimes still. I just can't articulate it like Ba.
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